


scattered (like ashes)

by peterparkerdeservesbetter



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, And Tony Gives Him One, F/M, Hurt Peter Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-09-14 15:17:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16915326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterparkerdeservesbetter/pseuds/peterparkerdeservesbetter
Summary: Peter starts freaking out when he realizes that no, Mr. Stark doesn’t recognize him.But when a looming threat threatens to destroy everything he loves, Peter says fuck it. Powers or not, he needs to do something.OR.Peter gets thrown into an alternate dimension, Tony really needs a break and Loki seems to never mind his own business.





	1. Leave. (Don’t Go)

**Author's Note:**

> ayyy!! it’s my first fanfic and I don’t know where I’m going with this. I’ll try to keep up since I’m busy with school and all. did y’all see the endgame trailer?? im so fucking sad I can’t.

The first thing Peter came to think was that nope this was not his so-not-comfortable bed back in Queens.

His room (was it?) uncharacteristically smelled of lavender and no offense to the flowers but Peter hated the smell of lavenders. It made him nauseous.

  
He slowly opens his eyes to a unfamiliar ceiling.

What the hell? 

  
Peter jumps out of the bed, doing a back flip and landing on the soft carpet without making any sound. I mean gymnastics right? On instinct ofcourse because come on unfamiliar places did not do well with Peter.

  
His senses were not going haywire how they usually went when faced with a threat. The familiar tingling on the back on his neck was not present at the moment which freaked Peter out more.  
The room had a familiar feeling to it. It was bigger than his room back in Queens, but Peter could recognize the curtains on the windows, the color of the walls (a light blue shade) the soft texture of the rug on the floor, even the creak of every step

  
And then it dawned on him.  
This was his old room when his parents were alive. 

  
He was six maybe seven when he last saw his parents. He could never forget what his room looked like neither the familiarity of it.

  
“Fuck.” Peter swears, shaking his head. This could not be happening right now  
“Peter, honey, wake up breakfast is ready.”

  
His head jerked at the clock on the wall.  
7:02 A.M.

  
He lets out a yelp, the picture hanging on this wall taking him by surprise.

  
It was teenage him standing besides his parents. He’s smilling widely while his Mom laughs at something stupid his Dad said. It never happened. He knows.

_Then why does it feel like it did?_

  
Peter backs in a haste as the door opens but his clumsy ass trips and lands on the floor in an awkward position.  
There was a snap, a shriek of pain (he did say manly) and-

  
The face of Mary Parker and Richard Parker swims in front of his vision and Peter loses it.

  
The darkness welcomes him like an old friend.

* * *

  
When he wakes up again, he realizes how embarrassing it is to break your hand while you have powers.  
He blinks his eyes open, the smell of lavender hitting him with full force and he groans. He realizes this is the first time he’s had a peaceful sleep. The nightmares always had started after Homecoming.

 

Sleep didn’t come when you’ve just had a building dropped on you. It’s been three months since Mr. Stark offered him a spot on the Avengers and Peter turned it down, thinking it was just a test  

He just wanted to be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Look out for the little guy right?

  
His room was the same as the last time. Home.

  
He stumbles out of his bed and peaks out his room. He almost cries when he realizes it’s the same as the last he saw it.

  
Home. Peter is finally back home.

His left hand is in a bandage but Peter knows his fast healing will take care of it  
Stumbling back to his bed, Peter debates going back to sleep and waking up back in his apartment. It might just be a dream, or someone might just have a grudge against Peter.

  
He hopes Mr. Stark knows what to do.  
He reaches towards the table beside his bed and picks up his phone.

  
“Stark.”

  
Peter blinks in surprise.

  
“Mr. Stark?”

  
“Who’s this?” Tony’s voice sounds threatening. Peter again blinks in surprise when he doesn’t greet him with a “hey kid!” or “please tell me you’re not bleeding in an alley right now, May will kill me.” or even “kid, I’m busy, Pepper is glaring at me right now and you know that women is scary.”

  
“Mr. Stark, i-it’s Peter.”

  
“I don’t know any Peter. Call me again and I’ll sue you.” He cuts the call before Peter could even think.

  
That’s when he really freaks out. 


	2. I need you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So when Peter walks into his apartment, throws his keys on the counter, and babbles away to May about his day. He does NOT expect to see Tony fucking Stark sitting on his couch, silently chewing on the raisin cookies that May loves to bake (Peter knows they're disgusting but May doesn't need to know that) and looking unprofessional as possible.
> 
> Peter blinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay,, woah,, ive never dedicated this much time to something!! hey yall here is chapter two like i promised. i took a day off from school because i was sick but that gave me more time to finish this,, i hope yall like this i put so much work into it. anywho, kudos and comments will be appreciated!
> 
> also: the *** means its the present.

Peter is six when his parents leave. He doesn't remember them much, just the soft of his mother, the smell of pancakes in the morning, his Dad dropping him off at school every day, warm hugs, the sun beaming on them as they walk along each other on the beach, the sand soft and hot beneath their feet. So yes. Peter doesn't remember much. He’s six when his parents leave and never come back.

They leave in a hurry, dropping Peter off at his Aunt and Uncle, they tell him to be good and then they hurry out the door. Peter watches them walk out on a cold and stormy night of September 15th. He leans against the cold window, flinches as the door is shut and is silent. He knows it's important, could hear the urgency in his Dad’s voice as his Mom and Dad argue. He gazes upon the car that speeds out of sight and expects to see them the weekend. They leave in front of him but Peter never sees them again.

They never come back. Peter remembers begging his Uncle Ben to take him back home, _he wants to go home_ _Mom and Dad are waiting for him, Ben let go!_

He remembers staying up late night, waiting and waiting and _waiting._ He understands that they’re never coming back. He's young but he's not insane.

When Peter is six, he realizes that people leave and that they never come back.

* * *

 

When Peter is fourteen, he thinks life is finally getting better. Everything is changing for the better, he thinks. He has a life, here in Queens.

 

After he gets bit by the radioactive spider and gets powers, Peter doesn't give it a second thought. He leaves it alone, even though, he went through hell and back. He had gotten awfully sick, throwing up every ten minutes.

 

Ben and May had freaked out and even thought of taking him to the hospital. But Peter had said no, he had insisted he hated hospitals.

 

(they couldn't afford it)

 

He gets better and Peter realizes that _no shit he has powers now._

 

He considers doing something about it.  

 

(He doesn't)

 

He should've known it wasn't going to last.

 

He and Ben are walking home from the theater when it happens.

 

He isn't sure what exactly happens, but when one minute Ben is laughing about something Peter said.

 

And then he's lying on the cold, hard ground with blood gushing out of his chest.

 

The world crashes into a halt.

 

Peter doesn't know what to do. He slides onto his knees, tears already leaking out of his eyes.

 

_No no no, this can't be happening!_

 

He's choking out a “Ben? Ben! Please, stay awake.” Ben’s eyes shift over to him and Peter can _feel_ the fear in his eyes.

 

He's helpless, Peter realizes at that moment.

 

When Ben’s heart stops beating, Peter dies inside.

 

He’s fourteen when he understands that everything is the same.

 

  
Peter Parker becomes Spider-Man when Ben Parker dies.

 

Peter goes back to school a week after Ben dies. People give him pity looks and he can _hear_ the whispers, his sensitive hearing not helping him much.

He breaks down in the bathroom during lunch.

 

* * *

When he wakes up in the morning, his first thought is Ben.

 

Peter becomes Spiderman, or rather they call him Spiderman. Peter doesn't mind, it actually suits him. Well, he has been bitten a spider and gotten abilities. He goes out to patrol every day after school. He really wants to help people who can't help themselves, give them hope that there is something good in this fucked up world.

But there isn't much good left, Peter thinks one day when he stops someone from kidnapping a 13-year-old. He makes sure she gets home safely, accepts the hug her grandmother gives, and swings back home.

Sometimes Peter wonders what Ben would think about his other half.

 

* * *

New York loves him, Peter suddenly realizes, as he swings from building to building. It’s probably 5 around the evening, the sun is about to set. He shivers a little bit, already knowing why, since spiders can’t thermoregulate. He should maybe do something about that.

 

So when Peter walks into his apartment, throws his keys on the counter, and babbles away to May about his day. He does NOT expect to see Tony fucking Stark sitting on his couch, silently chewing on the raisin cookies that May loves to bake (Peter knows they're disgusting but May doesn't need to know that) and looking unprofessional as possible.

 

Peter blinks.

 

The man gives him a smile, talks about some internship that Peter definitely did not apply for, and suddenly he’s in his room with Tony Stark.

And Spider-Man is revealed in the air and Peter is going to Germany.

 

Now Peter surely cannot ever say his life is dull.

 

* * *

 

 **Irondad** _: picking you up from school, Happy’s on a break._

 

 **Peter:** _roger that!_

 

 **Irondad:** _smartass_

 

 **Peter:** _I learn from the best_

 

 **Irondead** : _that you do_

 

“Mr. Parker, if you could please pay attention!”

 

Peter stutters out a sorry and shoves his phone into his pocket. He glances over his left and gives Ned a sheepish grin. Ned gives him a funny look and goes back to paying attention to the board.

 

Ever since Germany, Peter has seen more and more of Mr. Stark. He doesn't mind it, hanging out with his childhood hero is more than enough for him. After five or six visits, Peter starts getting comfortable with the idea of seeing Mr. Stark every Friday after school. They always make their way to the Avengers Compound.  Peter had once met the famous Pepper Potts, she had given him a soft smile and had introduced herself. He had stumbled over his words and awkwardly finished the sentence with a ‘nice to meet you.’

Yeah, not one of his finest moments.

The thought of Mr. Stark picking him after school makes him so excited, he almost falls out of his chair. MJ gives a snort from the back of the room.

When the final bell rings, Peter rushes out of school so fast. Barely anyone is even out here yet, he thinks amusedly.

He sees Mr. Stark leaning against a black Audi, arms folded and his famous sunglasses perched on the top of his head.

 

Peter gives him a wave and bounds over like an over-excited puppy.

 

“Mr. Stark!” he exclaims skidding to a stop.

 

“Calm down, kid, you don't wanna damage that pretty head of yours,” Mr. Stark says chuckling.

 

“I'm wounded, Mr. Stark, you know my powers come in handy,” Peter says shaking his head with a grin. He walks around the car and collapses inside the passenger seat.

 

“Call me Tony, kid, I feel old.”

 

“But you _are_ old.”

 

“Come here, you little shit.”

 

“Language, Mr. Stark!”

 

“Tony.”

 

“Okay Mr. Stark, got it, Mr. Stark.”

 

Tony gives a snort, reaches over and ruffles his hair. Peter smacks his hand away and whines a “Mr. Staaark.”

 

Tony pretends like this doesn't warm his cold dead heart.

 

* * *

 

Halfway to the Compound, Peter abruptly stops talking that Tony frowns at the silence. He looks over and sees the kid asleep against the window, shoulder tucked against his head. It's an uncomfortable position, Tony knows, so he drags Peter over until his head on Tony’s shoulder. Peter breathes a sigh and snuggles in more.

 

Tony’s heart warms up so much that he doesn't need the heat anymore.

 _This kid,_ Tony thinks, _will be the death of me._

 

An hour later, he pulls over in the front of the entrance and gazes over to Peter still dozing off on his shoulder.

He doesn't want to disturb the kid. (He’s sleeping on his shoulder, he would rather die than wake the kid)

He's not getting enough sleep, Tony knows, he's not blind. The dark bags under his eyes, the way he carries himself as if he’s gonna fall anytime soon, and the way he almost falls asleep in the lab multiple times- _Pepper had to threaten to shut down the lab if Tony and Peter didn't get out of it_ -Tony needs him to _go to sleep._

 Except Peter is stubborn as fuck and Tony wonders where he picked that up from.

His mind automatically provides him the answer and Tony groans. May will kill him. In all honesty, he really doesn't want the kid to be like him. Peter looks at him as if he hung up the stars.

Tony wonders why.

He already knows the answer.

He cards his hand into Peter’s hair, and Peter positively _melts._ He sags against him and sighs, mumbling something Tony can’t quite catch.

Tony, again, pretends this doesn’t melt his cold heart.

He doesn't mind, sitting here but he would rather have Peter in a comfy bed than this uncomfortable car. So gently but silently, he moves Peter so he's leaning against the passenger seat. Peter doesn't much as twitch. Tony quickly walks around the car, opens the door. He gently picks him up, one arm under his knees and other under his back. Peter sighs, snuggling into his shoulder.

 

Tony hopes no one sees him as he walks into the Compound. Rhodey will have a laugh. 

* * *

One moment he’s dangling in the sky, his parachute tangled around him and the next he hits the water so hard he sees stars. The water is ice cold, his body goes numb and Peter doesn’t know _what to do, oh my god I’m going to die._

 

When Mr. Stark, or rather Friday, hurry in to save him, Peter does thank Ganesh for the wifi connection.  

 

* * *

He was never a fan of heights, even though, he’s Spider-Man.

Peter’s fault was that he realizes a little too late that the glowy thingy is an explosive device.

* * *

 

_“What if somebody had died? Different story, right because that's on you. If you had died, I feel like that's on me.”_

 

_“I wanted to be like you.”_

 

_“And I wanted you to be better!”_

 

_“Alright, I'm gonna need the suit back.”_

 

_“No, Mr. Stark- please, I'm nothing without this suit.”_

 

_“If you're nothing without this suit, then you shouldn't have it.”_

 

* * *

_“Peter, you're young. You don't understand how the world works.”_

  
_“Yeah, but I understand that selling weapons to criminals is wrong!_  
  
_“How do you think your buddy Stark paid for that tower or any of his little toys? Those people, Pete, those people up there, the rich and the powerful, they do whatever they want. Guys like us, like you and me... they don't care about us. We build their roads and we fight all their wars and everything. They don't care about us. We have to pick up after them. We have to eat their table scraps. That's how it is. I know you know what I'm talking about, Peter.”_  
  
_“Why are you telling me this?”_  
_  
“'Cause I want you to understand. And... I needed a little time to get her airborne.”_

  _You missed! You didn't even hit me!”_  
_  
“Yeah, but then again... I wasn't even trying to.”_

 

* * *

 

 **_“_ ** _H-help, someone! P-please s-someone help! I’m down here!”_

 

_“Come on, Peter, Come on Spider-Man!”_

 

* * *

 

When Tony gets a call from Happy that his plane had crashed and Spider-Man was nowhere to be seen, he almost has a heart attack. He rushes to Coney Island in his suit, telling FRIDAY to _hurry up, oh my god Peter,_ and when he gets there, he sees the Vulture tied up with webs and Peter nowhere to be seen.

 

_How will you find him, you idiot, you took his suit!_

 

He calls Peter, every second the bell rings, Tony loses five years of his life. But when he picks up, relief rushes in so fast, Tony collapses on his knees.

 

“Hey, Mr. Stark-”

 

“Oh, fuck, kid are you alright? Where are you, I'm coming to pick you up.” Tony rushes out in one breath, already in the air.

“Mr. Stark I am so sorry about your p-plane, I tried to save it but it crashed-”

  
“Peter, goddammit I don't care about the plane! Where are you?”

 

“By the Tower?” Peter says softly.

 

Tony ignores how it sounds like a question.

 

He's never flown his suit this fast.

* * *

 

On a particular Thursday morning, Peter meets Loki outside a coffee shop. Well, it’s not a coincidence, per se. Loki looks like he has been waiting for quite a long time. He’s on his feet before Peter even touches down on the ground, the gasps of the people surrounding him because _holy shit it’s Loki and Spider-Man._

Peter ignores the people standing by and gives a wave to Loki.

 

He’s on his way when Mr. Stark texts him to _get your ass home, Parker, you better not be talking to Loki._

 

He waves at Loki again, misses the way he smirks, and webs away.

 

*******

**Peterparkour** : _what the fuck_

 

 **Guyinthechair** : _what?_

 

 **Peterparkour** : _my!! parents!! are!! a l i v e!!_

 

 **Guyinthechair** : _of course, they are, Peter are you drunk? It’s school._

 

 **Peterparkour** _: dude. DUDE. Tony doesn't recognize me!! Stop kidding around._

 **Guyinthechair** _: Tony who?_

 

 **Peterparkour** _: Tony Stark_

 

 **Guyinthechair:** _Now you're definitely drunk._

 

He throws his phone against the wall so hard that it cracks.

*******

_This is so fucking weird,_ Peter thinks, as he stabs his fork into the pancake. If you had told Peter three months ago that he will be having breakfast with his long-dead parents, he would've laughed and told you to take a goddamn nap.

He’s not going to sleep anytime soon, anyway.

 

He keeps taking slow bites and tries not to talk. His mom keeps giving him funny looks, but Peter knows that if he opens his mouth to talk, he’ll start sobbing. Crying like a baby would not be his first approach but he wasn't taught what to say if _you're in an alternate universe and your parents are alive._ Peter wonders if its Loki. he did come across him during patrol yesterday. He doesn't know what else to think.

 

He mumbles an excuse about getting late for school, ignores the way his mom reaches out to touch his arm, and scrambles into his room.

 

_You have reached the voicemail of Tony Stark-_

_“Mr. Stark, h-hey, I know you don't know who I am. But my name is Peter Parker and we know each other. I am a 16-year-old sophomore and I go to Midtown High. you know me. And I know you. Well, at least not here. This is n-not where I belong. Please, I really need your help. If you don't believe me, then it’s fine. I'll figure something out. 20 Ingram St, Forest Hills, I’ll be home after school. Please.”_

 

_“I need you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will back next week with more!  
> winter break is coming up and here I am.  
> I have planned out what im going to do next, oof i love these babies with all my heart.  
> also almost all the quotes that are italicized are from spiderman: homecoming, the convo between peter and tony after the ship, aaannnddd, the Vulture and Peter and stuff. so yeah i have no right over them yeet.  
> anyways i hope yall are having a great life!


	3. Listen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter gives a meager nod and collapses on the floor. 
> 
> Yeah, Tony does have a heart attack at that point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so goddamn bad at time management. I'm sorry but this chapter is really small but I promise the next one would be longer. I'm literally a week late ugh anyways, hope yall enjoy I suck at this

Peter tries to be normal.

He shows up to school the next day. He wakes up at 6:00 A.M. in the morning, gets ready in record time and steps out his room. He, again, double takes, when he gazes upon his parents. His mom is in the kitchen, he knows she’s making pancakes, the smell drifting across their house. His dad is reading the newspaper (Peter can't believe those still exist) and drinking coffee.

He tries not to choke up when his Mom kisses him on the cheek, his dad claps his shoulder and ruffles his hair when Peter is ready to leave.

It feels weird to see them alive. He doesn't remember them much. But the familiarity, his mom’s soft smile, and his dad’s jokes are something he hasn't ever seen before but he can feel himself choking up every time he looks at them. He wonders where Ben and May are. Are they even alive? He doesn't want to think about it.

He misses Mr. Stark the utmost. He misses everything about him Working in the lab, sometimes watching movies and eating ice cream on the couch, Peter cuddled into Tony's shoulder. Tony plays with his hair and he falls asleep before the movie is even over. He misses being Spider-man, the thrill of helping people, doing some good in this world and swinging through the air. He can’t live without being Spider-man, that's what he does, that's what he _wants to do, needs to._

Peter sometimes wonders if he’s even worth it. As if he’s worth anyone’s time. Tony has many more responsibilities to take care of, a fucking company to run for god sakes.

May has to take double shifts, sometimes, when they have money issues, Peter doesn't want to waste her time, she never wanted him. He was thrust into her life when his parents died. When Ben died, it was much more difficult to take care of a teenager. He messes up, he gets hurt, his enhances metabolism not helping him much since he has to eat double the amount he used to (he doesn't know if he actually gets sick and really doesn't want to find out.) he doesn't want to be a burden, he really does _not._ Therefore, when he ends up into an alternate universe (he’s not sure if it even is an alternate universe) with his parents _alive_ and Mr. Stark far _far_ away from him, it’s everything he ever wanted.

* * *

The cold wind hits him in the face when he finally steps out his cozy home. He shivers and buries himself more into his winter jacket. It starts snowing when he’s on the subway. As much as he loves snow and the mesmerizing beauty of it, the cold bothers him a lot.  

He meets up with Ned and MJ in the front entrance of Midtown High. His heart warms up as he gazes upon some familiar faces. God, he missed them a lot. His pace quickens and the next second he’s in front of them. He opens his mouth to greet them but when MJ kisses him softly on his lips, he pulls back so hard, he gets whiplash.

MJ’s expression goes from kind to heartbroken in a matter of seconds, she mumbles “I have to go,” and hastily disappears from his sight.

Peter still looks like a deer in headlights and Ned gives him the dirtiest look.

“What?” Peter asks, his heart beating so fast, he feels like throwing up.

“She’s your girlfriend, dude, why would you-”

Peter chokes on the word girlfriend.

Throughout the day, it keeps bothering him. He literally can't believe the fact MJ is his _girlfriend._ Which means they’re _dating in this universe._

Back home, in Queens, (his _real_ home with May, Tony, MJ, and Ned) he and MJ got along really well. Well, if you minus the ‘loser’ and ‘dork’ both of them were really good friends. Friends. _Just friends. Nothing more than that, Parker, come on get it together._

Peter isn't sure if it’s the term ‘girlfriend’ bothering him, or the fact she is dating some awkward and nerdy kid like him. His self-loathing thoughts hit him full force. _La cagué,_ he thinks during Spanish.

Later, in History class, Peter apologizes to MJ and hesitantly kisses her on the cheek. However, he feels like a dumbass, hiding the truth from his friends. So in lunch, he sits down with them and explains everything. His parent's disappearance and then their inevitable death when he was young, being placed with Ben and May, Ben’s death, _Spider-man_ , and Mr. Stark. They look at him as if he has grown three heads, speechless and their mouths hanging open. Peter hopes, begs God that they believe, he seriously needs someone on his side.

MJ gives him an awkward smile (she didn’t forget about this morning, he thinks) and an “I got you, Parker.” and Ned nods, still looking like a fish out of water

Peter takes what he can get.

* * *

The utter irony of it takes him by surprise. It follows by him laughing hysterically and motioning Tony towards his room between chuckles. His mom is still perched on the couch, looking weirdly at Peter as if he's possessed, he really can't blame her, he is acting sort of insane. 

Tony is caught off guard. He had presumed there was going to be some fanboying and freaking out or an _oh my god, it’s Tony Stark._ Well, those are some reactions he usually gets. Yet when Mr. Parker burst outs in hysterical giggles. Tony thinks he’s broken the boy before they even met.

He doesn't know how Peter comes to find his phone number (no one other than Pepper, Happy and Rhodey have it) but the voicemail he leaves, tugs at his heartstrings. The kid had sounded tired and worn out as if he was carrying the weight of the whole world on his shoulders. He knows what that feels like.

He’s leaning against his bedroom window, arms folded against his chest and looking terribly exhausted. He doesn't turn around when Tony gradually enters the room but he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

“Hi, you're probably wondering, why, uh, why you are here. Okay, s-so you heard the voicemail, right? Yeah well, all of what I said was t-true and I know you don't believe me, I mean a random boy in queens calls you up and a-asks for your, um, help. Mr. Stark, I'm, I'm sorry you have to come all the way here-” he starts quietly and gently but his anxiety gets the better of him and Peter doesn't know anything anymore.

“Kid-” Tony cuts in quietly but it goes unnoticed as Peter keeps on rambling.

“I didn't mean to, to call you all the way here okay? Oh god, I'm so stupid, you're probably so busy, oh shit you know what, f-forget about this it’s okay you can just go home now I'm sorry for bothering you-”

“Parker!” Peter’s mouth shuts with an audible clink and if it weren't for the tears in the kid's eyes, Tony would have laughed.

“Jesus, kid, let me speak, will you?”

Peter gives a meager nod and collapses on the floor.

Yeah, Tony does have a heart attack at that point.

When he reaches him in a hurry, Tony hopes to God, the kid is breathing. He releases a shaky breath, placing his fingers against his neck to check for a heartbeat. It's slow but steady. Tony lets out some curses and carefully picks the kid up and places him on the bed. He feels out of place in such a cozy room. 

After informing his mom, that Peter went to sleep after Tony leaves, He hurries out of the house before he has an anxiety attack.

 _gimme me a break,_ Tony thinks.  

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a day late but Merry Christmas!
> 
> next chapter will be up before 2019!
> 
> P.S. La cague means ‘I screwed up’ in Spanish. it could also mean ‘I fucked up’ but you know. yee.


	4. We'll Do This Together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then there are clouds passing by at a steady speed, the wind is ice cold against his face. He makes the mistake to catch a glimpse of the world down below and the lights look heavenly, each building and each home consists of people going on with their lives. Each one of them has a different story to tell.  
> Peter wonders who's telling his story right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are some things I really want to make clear:  
> 1\. There is an appearance of Stark Tower in this chapter and I don't want to let my baby go so the Tower is still currently standing and Tony didn't sell it because Pepper would never let him do that. I have also just realized that Peter goes to the Compound in the second or third chapter but let's just pretend that was the Tower hehe.  
> 2\. Civil War and Infinity War never happened. I don't want to make my children suffer all over again okay, I'm still not over the Endgame trailer so this might just have a happy ending. Also, The Avengers are happily living in the Tower in their respective places. Including Banner. And Thor who pops back in whenever he wants.  
> 3\. I know the Loki timeline doesn't really match according to Spider-Man Homecoming but I really did not want to come with up some new magic character who can send people into alternate dimensions. I know a lot of people LOVE Loki, including me, so no he's probably not going to be the villain in this story. He just, you know, felt bad for Peter. He thinks to send him into some universe where his parents are alive and he's not Spider-man seemed good enough for him.  
> 4\. Guys, I love Peter with all my heart and I miss him so much.  
> 5\. Last but not least, please go watch Spider-Man Into The Spider-Verse, you will NOT regret it, the movie is absolutely phenomenal. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you guys have a great 2019! (no one does, let's just be positive)

He’s lying on his back, staring up at the blank ceiling after many attempts to walk on it. He’s clearly fucked when his hands don't cling to the wall, he simply can’t pick up a god damn couch with his bare hands and his super hearing makes no effort to help him hear anything outside his room. _I’m stuck in some alternate universe where my parents are alive and I have no powers. Fuck you, Loki._ There was no point figuring out why he’s stuck here, it’s obvious Loki was just merely messing around with _his life._  He calls Tony again and apologizes twenty times for passing out on the man and ruining their conversation. The call, again, goes to voicemail and Peter knows the man is really busy. Still, the one chance he had to convince Mr. Stark that, _yes I know you, god damn it, Tony, just give me a call,_ and yes he had completely and amazingly ruined it. Because _that's what I do, I ruin things._ He's wearing his old pair of glasses. His eyesight seemed to get worse since he's been here and he realizes a little too late that he used to wear glasses before he was bitten by the spider.  

He shakes his head to not let his self-deprecating thoughts get to him. He wasn’t going to get any answers like this, moping in his room, feeling sorry for himself. But there is still some comfort that Tony is still here even though, he doesn't recognize who Peter is and why the hell is some kid from Queens, begging to have a talk with him.

Peter is trying his genuine best, but he had completely freaked out while coming face to face with Tony. He looked the same but there was no warmth in his brown eyes. That bothered Peter the most. He had grown so close with this mentor/father-figure. It was obvious Peter was careless when it came to protecting himself. Therefore whenever Peter has a little mishap (er, meaning getting stabbed, shot, poisoned, drowned, broken bones or ribs, and any other injury that Peter hasn't endured yet) his first thought is Mr. Stark. Peter trusts that man with his life.  It's a little frustrating when he doesn't remember who Peter is.

He grabs his bookbag and scrambles out his room. He freezes a little when he catches sight of his parents out in the living room (do they _not_ go anywhere else) but catches himself and silently moves towards the front door.

_Pleasedontseemepleasedontseemepleasedontseeme_

“Peter! where are you going? It’s dinner time.” He cringes, holds in a sigh and turns around nonchalantly.

“Oh hey, m-mom, uh, just going to Ned’s, we have this History project due tomorrow so I was hoping I could stay the night?” he tries not to make it sound like a question but fails miserably.

His mom raises an eyebrow but shrugs. “Just give me a text when you get there.”

He’s out the door before she even finishes. He can't stand to be in the same room as them anymore, it physically hurts.

He doesn’t go to Ned’s. Instead, he rushes over to Stark Tower in a hurry, already asking Ned to cover for him. It’s maybe 9:15 P.M. at night, it’s really chilly outside but he doesn’t let that get to him. The moon casts slight a glow over the city, making it look ominous. At that moment, Peter really wishes he had his web shooters with him. But Spider-man doesn’t exist in this universe anymore and Peter really doesn’t want to slam into a building while swinging without his powers. It feels quite uncanny without them. They had become a part of him, always there with a constant hum.

He’s passing by an alley when someone harshly grasps him and tosses him against the brick wall. He lets out a surprised yell and the pain that follows has him groaning. He struggles against the hands holding him but there is no use. He isn’t Spider-man here, he’s only Peter Parker, _defenseless and with no help in sight_.

He sighs. “What do you want?”

The attacker gives no indication that he’s listened to what Peter said.

“Hello? are you deaf?” Peter huffs and asks curiously.

Nothing.

“Look, man, if you could just let me go-“

The man slams his head against the wall so hard Peter swears he heard a crack. The pain is unbearable. He gasps and struggles again. No use. He’s trapped.

It’s becoming a two-time thing because one second, he’s cursing because _god fucking damn it, where are my powers when you need them_ and the next he’s on the cold harsh ground with a stab wound to his stomach. He groans but coughs the following second and he can feel a metallic taste in his mouth and he _knows_ its blood.

The attacker stands over him with a knife dripping with his blood and chuckles.“Better protect your half ass family, Peter Parker, or they won’t be able to see another day.” And then he’s gone.

Peter fumbles with his phone and manages to get blood all over it but he doesn’t give that any thought because _oh god there is so much blood._

The phone is ringing and Peter begs to every deity out there that Tony picks up his phone.

 _“Look, kid. Peter, was it?”_ He chokes out a sob when he hears the familiar voice.

“Mr. Stark!”

 _“Peter? Peter, what is it?”_ Maybe god hates him or something because his phone gives a beep and he knows it’s dead since he didn't fucking charge it and god why is he so careless?  _“Kid? What happened?”_

“I’m kind of bleeding out in an alley and I was hoping-“

_“Stay right there I’m coming."_

Tony’s voice cuts off and he’s alone. In a dingy alley. Bleeding out.

His life can't get any worse, can it?

Famous last words.

* * *

He doesn't know how much time has passed but he catches the unmistakable sound of Iron Man’s thrusters and the faint _clink!_ of the suit landing a few feet away from where he’s leaning against the wall, slowly bleeding out. The position he’s in is really uncomfortable and painful but he doesn't think he can move without screaming out in agony. He doesn't have even the slightest energy to be embarrassed about calling Tony for help. People get hurt, he gets it. Okay, maybe, getting hurt while  _not_ Spider-manning gets him. He's Spider-man, with or without the suit ( _If you're nothing without this suit, then you shouldn't have it._ ) But without powers (Just an alternate dimension, Peter, you got this) he's worthless, he's human. He's just human. Human's get hurt. He doesn't have his fast healing to care of this. It sucks, it absolutely sucks. He feels like crying. He feels like giving up and hiding in his room until he can manage to hunt down Loki and beg him to change everything like the way it was. He's Spider-man, he has powers, he helps people, he swings building to building, stopping bank robberies, assisting an old lady cross the road, helping a lost kid find his parents. May takes care of him, even though she had been taking more shifts at the hospital, lately. Although, they still have time for each other. Peter loves May with all of his being and he can't thank her enough for always being there for him. He hangs out with Tony every week, they spend a lot of time in the lab, they goof around and eat ice cream some nights when Peter is feeling down or Tony helping out Peter with school, or sometimes when Pepper is free from her SI duties, she checks in on them and they go out to some fancy restaurant even when Peter insists eating McDonald's is way more than fine. Pepper and Tony bicker and Peter intervenes when his name comes up in the conversation and it warms his heart to have a second family, who take care of him even though, he can't ever thank them enough. Ned and MJ have been there for him for a long time and he knows the importance of friends. Friends are home. He's never been this far from home. Family. This is his makeshift family. The love for your family is superior to any other. Part of wants to leave, wants to hunt down Loki and demand to be let back home. Part of him doesn't. That part of him wants to stay here and enjoy the rest of his life without the burden of being Spider-man and the responsibilities that come with it and oh his parents, he wants to the spend the remaining ten years with them that they unfortunately missed. 

He's jolted out of his thoughts when there is a light tap-tap to his cheek and the ground disappears from beneath him. 

“Come on, kid, we gotta go." And then there are clouds passing by at a steady speed, the wind is ice cold against his face. He makes the mistake to catch a glimpse of the world down below and the lights look heavenly, each building and each home consists of people going on with their lives. Each one of them has a different story to tell. Peter wonders who's telling this story now.

This time, however, he comprehends how much time passes by because every jolt of the suit, sends a spark of pain against his abdomen. He's unquestionably exhausted, his limbs feel heavy and his eyes keep closing to his own accord. But every time, the noises are about to fade away and he relaxes, Tony gives him a shake and an order to "Stay awake, you have a concussion." He still doesn't understand why he can't go to sleep.

He's nodding off but is jolted awake, yet again when Tony places him gently on the bed in Medbay (he knows it's the Medbay, he's visited it many times in his life to know what the room looks like) He gasps when his wound is jostled but settles back down when there is a warm hand on his forehead. It's probably the anesthesia or the drugs because Peter loses track of time, again. He tries to stay awake for more but then the room is cozy, and the pain has lessened a lot, there is a warm blanket covering him and the bed is comfortable. He slowly drifts off to sleep, the peaceful atmosphere easing him to it. 

* * *

 

"Peter. Open your eyes, kiddo."

He struggles for a bit but finally seems to get them open. His eyesight seems to get worse because everything is blurry.

"Uh, can I, can I have my glasses?"

"Oh shit, yeah." 

The glasses are placed upon his eyes and the world instantly becomes clear. He glances to his left and regards Tony sitting on the chair, he's wearing an MIT hoodie and sweats, his hair (which is usually gelled and taken care of) is a mess. There are dark bag under his eyes as if though he hasn't been sleeping a lot (which he's not)

"Hey," He rasps out, his voice sounds like he just died and came back.

"Hey yourself. How are you feeling?" Tony questions, shifting in his chair. The sun is just beginning to rise, the rays of sunlight coming through the window make Tony's eyes shine a little brighter. The room is stark white (why are hospital rooms always white, Peter ponders) and smells of antiseptic and was that lavender?

"I'm fine."

Tony chuckles and takes a sip of the coffee he's holding. How Peter didn't notice he had coffee in his hands, doesn't make sense either.

"I'm sorry-" Peter starts but is cut off, well not rudely, Tony cuts in gently but firmly

"Nope, no worries. What I want to know is, what were you doing in that god awful place, bleeding out on a Friday night?"

"I got stabbed."

"no shi- uh crap," He plays with the strands on his hoodie and looks like he would rather be somewhere else than here. 

"I don't belong here." Peter begins with that. Smooth or not, he doesn't care.

Tony quirks an eyebrow at that but doesn't say anything so Peter takes it as the invitation to keep going. He abruptly looks over at him and Tony's heart breaks, a little, at the unspeakable pain in his eyes. 

"I don't belong in this world. I mean, my parents are  _alive_ and why am I not happy about that? They're my parents! It's painful to live with them, I see them every day but it's not enough! and you!" Peter points at him as if Tony's murdered his cat or something. He jumps back, looking amused.

"Me? what did I do?"

"You don't remember me!"

"Kid I don't even know you-"

"Fuck, yes you do! it's me, Peter Parker, you first met me at the Stark Expo, in 2011 when the robots attacked. I was a kid with the fake Iron Man helmet. I went to the Expo with my Aunt and Uncle. I got separated during the chaos and I thought maybe, hey I could help people. I was a dumbass but I always wanted to be like you. You came and saved me. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't even be here. Oh god, I haven't even told this to other Tony back at home" Peter groans and drags a hand down his face. "He's going to kill me."

By the end of his so-called-rant, Peter is out of breath and Tony looks like he's rethinking all of his life choices. 

"Look." Peter sighs, "I know this is really confusing, even for your smart-ass mind, I really need your help." he cuts to the chase, because he's tired and the drugs are wearing off, he can feel the discomfort in his abdomen coming back. He's breathing a little heavily and trying not to cry out in agony. 

Tony groans, again, and drags a hand into his hair. 

"Pepper is going to kill me," he mumbles. "What do you need?"

"Can you find Thor? I really  _need_  to talk to Loki."

"Look, it doesn't mean I still trust you. I need a solid reason here."

Peter looks exasperated and then, "You had anxiety attacks during the Mandarin fiasco."

Tony blinks. 

"Solid enough." he claps Peter on the shoulder, tells him to get some sleep and hastily disappears from the room. 

Yeah, Peter really needs some sleep.

* * *

 

The sunlight is bothering the fuck out of him.

His injury is still really sore but he's starving so he gradually drags himself out of his bed. There are clothes perched on the chair beside the bed and he debates whether to put them on or not. It's obvious they're Tony's but he doesn't want to intrude on him more than he already did. They are a bit large on him but he makes them work by folding the sleeves. The door to the Medbay isn't locked, which is a surprise, since the talk yesterday. He has no difficulty finding his way to the elevator. Everything looks and feels the same but there is still an uncanny quietness in the air as if no one lives here. He walks in the elevator with ease and tells FRIDAY to take him to the common room. FRIDAY doesn't hesitate even a little, and the elevator begins to decent.  _Huh,_ he thinks.

The elevator opens to the common room of Tony's personal penthouse. It's a little unusual that he still has access. But knowing Tony, it's normal. He enters the kitchen and notices Tony sitting at the dining table. He's nursing a cup of coffee and a StarkPad in one hand. He doesn't notice Peter immediately but glances up when Peter has been standing in the middle of the kitchen for a little too long. The surprising thing is that Peter doesn't look star-struck. He looks as if he's familiar with this surroundings. It makes Tony feel uneasy but he smiles nonetheless.

"Hey, kid."

Peter snaps out of it and scrambles over in a hurry to the refrigerator trying to act nonchalantly.

"Hey, Mr. Stark."

"How'd you sleep?"

"Uh, good."

Tony nods and goes back to work as if there isn't 16-year-old old teenager standing in the middle of his kitchen.

"Um, I was hoping you could tell me if you talked to Thor?" Peter asks nervously. It's Tony, he knows. But it's not his Tony. Not the Tony back home. 

"Right. He's not on Earth, right now. Says he'll be back in three days, max." 

"O-oh, okay."

"Okay."

"So um."

"So?" Tony asks, quirking an eyebrow. 

"I gotta get home. Nice meeting you. See ya." 

He's out the door, out of the Tower _and_ into a taxi when he realizes he forgot to give Tony's clothes back. 

* * *

 He hates the number three.

It's an odd number (quite literally) and there is always an extra day after number two. Three long days pass by and Peter's been itching to go back home. God he misses May so much. On a Tuesday morning, he wakes up frustrated and tired. Every little thing annoys the ever-loving shit out of him. And he's already snapped at his parents, Ned and MJ, even though, it's already 2:00 P.M. However, he gets a text from Tony last period.

_Thor's back. Happy will pick you up after school._

 Okay, maybe that was the only upside to today.

Peter had a lot of time to think about what happened three days ago. The masked man, who had attacked and stabbed him. He also had warned Peter to, quote, "protect his half-ass family." Rude. But it also scares him. Can't he ever catch a break? Even in an alternate dimension, someone is after him and his family. He really needs Loki to figure this shit out and get him back home. The end of school comes by fast, which is surprising. But Peter is out the front door, scrambling down the front steps and basically running over to the sleek black car that's parked down the street. He gets in the passenger side (it's just a habit really.) and turns around to greet Happy but freezes. It's not Happy whos sitting beside him. Oh, it's not even Tony. _Ugh_ , Peter groans internally. It's the masked man from the other night. His day can't get any worse. 

"Stranger danger," Peter mumbles. He casually sticks his hands into his jacket pocket and clicks the on button five times. It's only for emergencies. The phone automatically calls his emergency contact. It's obviously, Tony. Oh, this is really an emergency.

The man chuckles, low and deep. It sends shivers down Peter's spine. 

"Oh man, you're stalking me now," Peter jokes. Oh, he's scared.

Silence. 

"So, uh, I'm just going to leave now-" 

The man cocks a gun against Peter's head and he abruptly shuts his mouth. Now there's a gun. They are nothing to play with. One clicks and he's dead. 

He gulps.

Suddenly, there's a harsh knocking on the window and the man whips around with the gun, aimed towards the figure hovering outside it. Iron Man stands there with this repulsor pointed towards the car window. Peter makes a smart decision, swiftly unlocks the door and jumps out. He hits the pavement, but ducks hard when there are two gunshots. And then he's screaming out in agony when one of the bullets catches his shoulder. He grasps it and quickly moves away from the car. Oh, he really doesn't want to die here. 

He can hear the fighting behind him but makes no move to jump in. He's hurt and he has no powers. Not a smart decision. 

And then hears police sirens. The fighting stops as soon as it came. He spins around and stares at the man, getting into handcuffs and harshly pushed into a police car. 

Well, that's over with.

He jumps five feet into the air when someone puts their hand on his uninjured shoulder but relaxes when he notices that it's Tony. He's still in his Iron Man suit. However, he gazes upon the bullet wound in his shoulder. Well, naturally, he freaks out. He grabs Peter gently and shoots off into the air towards the Tower. Feels like deja-vu, Peter thinks.

After his shoulder is taken care of, Peter finally meets Thor.

The god looks surprisingly at home with only wearing jeans and a shirt. His long hair in a man bun and he's leaning against the couch, looking quite relaxed.

"Loki?" he repeats amusedly. 

"Yes," Tony sighs for maybe the tenth time. Peter, who's sitting on the kitchen counter, shrugs.

"I met him on patr- er the other day after school. Before I came here. I was hoping if you could call him and ask him? I mean if it's okay with you."

"Of course it's okay with him, right buddy?" Tony scoffs and gives a pointed look to Thor.

"Of course, Man of Iron, I will summon him today and question him about this." Thor grins and then disappears off somewhere. 

 Peter sighs. 

This is going to be a long day. 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am in no way a medical professional so there is barely any appearance of medical supplies and stuff OKAY!  
> Hey, I gave this to you just before New Years, I try to keep my promises.  
> Don't want to brag or anything, I wrote ALL of this while suffering through cramps and back pain. Ya girl's a champ.  
> I promised a longer chapter and here you are.  
> Also, I would, at some point, introduce the Avengers to Peter.  
> see you next time!  
> (Besides, it's Saturday today, haha I'm on time.)


	5. authors note

hey guys.   
I’m sorry for not updating for a long time. I’m so bad at time management. I’m really trying my best to update soon as possible. I took a break because I had school and I got really busy, I didnt even have time to breathe. everything is a mess and I really don’t want to rant here but I just feel really worthless and I feel like this is a safe place. I have some ideas written down for the new chapter and I will try my best to update anytime soon! anyways, my mental health is in a really bad place rn I’m trying to hold so I’d really appreciate it if you guys can hold on to this fic a lil longer. I love writing and I love you guys.   
sincerely,   
author 💕


	6. what do you want from me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright, kiddo, whenever someone asks who the hell you are, you’re my personal intern okay? God knows why I have an intern.
> 
> I don’t know, Mr. Stark, your hearing is getting pretty bad. 
> 
> You’re a little shit, you know that. 
> 
> Wonder who I take after. 
> 
> That’s it! You’re grounded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y’all I’m back! Okay that was a long ass break I’m so sorry but i finally got the courage to write something up. I have to apologize that this chapter is short but i promise the next one is BETTER. anyways how are y’all?

Peter is getting jittery.

 

He paces around the living room, occasionally biting his nails and is close to ripping his hair out. He doesn’t know where Tony is, the man had left shortly after Thor left to find his brother. He needs To-

 

No. He’s fifteen. He’s not a child. He doesn’t need someone to hold him and tell him that everything will be okay ( _you’re alright_ ) ( _it’s not a hug, I’m just grabbing the door for you) (Tony hugging him tightly and surely, a warm embrace, one arm holding him tightly, the other hold holding his head, gently carding it through his hair “you’re okay, buddy, I got you”)_

 

The living room of the Tower is dark but cozy. The walls are a warm blue, the floors are filled with different type of tiles. It’s home. But it’s not his home. His home is back in the Compound with the _real_ Tony. It’s back in Queens, in his small apartment with May.

 

It’s in New York, where he’s Spider-Man and the thrill of swinging through the air, stopping the bad guys and saving people gets him going. It’s a responsibility, being Spider-Man and helping the citizens of New York. Home.

 

Day turns to night, and Peter is tired. He’s exhausted, not getting much sleep since he’s been stuck here.

 

Time passes by in a haze. Peter doesn’t want to go home, so he texts his parents (still weird, too soon) that he’s staying at Ned’s. But he’s not. He crashes in the guest room that Tony provided for him. It’s dull and empty,

 

Time passes by in a haze and Peter thinks.

 

He thinks, thinks and thinks.

 

It gets worse. Much worse.

 

He’s exhausted but sleep doesn’t come. The room is even a little cold and he’s warm, just the likes it. His bones feel like jelly and every time he coughs, his stomach hurts. He’s staring at the walls, unblinking and empty. He tries listening to soft music, takes a warm shower and hell, even starts counting sheep but it’s frustrating. His body is exhausted but his thoughts are a mess. He blinks

Oh god, he’s fucking _tired._

 

At one point, around 3:05 A.M. Peter is so frustrated, he could cry. Throwing off the covers, rather harshly, he stalked out the room and into the elevator.

 

“Mr. Parker, you seem to be in distress, shall I notify Boss?”

 

“No, Fri, I’m okay. Take me to the common room please.”

 

“As you wish.”

 

The elevator began it’s decent with a soft whir.

 

The common room of the Avengers Tower is gigantic, to say the least. The elevator opens to the view of some type of living room.

There are at least four couches lounging around the TV. To the left is an open kitchen. To the right are huge windows, the view is beautiful. You could see the whole of New York.

It’s absolutely mesmerizing

 

However, Peter doesn’t have time to acknowledge that. Because, in front of him, lounging around the common room are the Avengers.

 

Natasha and Clint are watching a movie, which one, he doesn't know. They’re arguing about something. Their bickering, however, is light-hearted and soft. Steve, who’s sketching on the far end of the couch, chimes in with a soft smile. Bruce is reading a book on the ground and Thor is in the kitchen, cooking something.

 

The thing is Peter has never met an Avenger before. He doesn’t know whether to freak out or quietly and steadily disappear from their sight.

 

“Yup, I’m just gonna-” He whispers to himself and is halfway out the door when-

 

“Uh, who the hell are you?”

 

Wow, he has some bad luck.

 

“Language, Clint.”

 

“What? There's a stranger in our house, Cap.”

 

Peter slowly turns out and gives them an awkward wave.

 

Natasha, the Black Widow, whatever old news, quirks an eyebrow and Peter is really hoping for death.

 

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” she demands.

 

He gulps.

 

“I’m uh, Mr. Stark’s personal intern.” He goes with the cover story that Tony had told him.

 

_Alright, kiddo, whenever someone asks who the hell you are, you’re my personal intern okay? God knows why I have an intern._

 

_I don’t know, Mr. Stark, your hearing is getting pretty bad._

 

_You’re a little shit, you know that._

 

_Wonder who I take after._

 

_That’s it! You’re grounded._

 

He’s startled back into the present when Steve says, “I didn’t know Tony had interns.”

 

Peter shifts his feet and shrugs.

 

“Guys, leave that poor kid alone.” Bruce pipes in from where he’s engrossed in his book.

 

There’s a terrifying moment when everyone’s eyes are on him and Peter just wants to bury himself in the ground and never come back up.

 

“What the hell is going on?”

 

***

 

To say Tony was tired was an understatement. He seemed to always be tired whether it was physically, mentally or emotionally. Well, you choose.

   

He hasn't slept in 36 hours. The coffee has gone cold hours ago, but he still takes a sip here there, trying to keep awake.

He, obviously, has taken refuge in his lab. His only safe place, where none of the Avengers can bother him. Well, other than Pepper and Rhodey. They are family.

Here’s the thing. Tony is scary good at avoiding. Avoiding sleep. Avoiding people. Avoiding the kid.

 

Now don't get him wrong, Tony is a genius. He is a mechanic. He has answers, he fixes things.

 

But when some kid shows up out of the moon, talking about “Spider-Man” and how he knows The Tony Stark? Well, yeah. He has no explanation for that. There aren’t even any questions that seem to make sense to him.

 

Hence, he avoids the kid as much as he can.

 

He should’ve thought the other people who lived in his Tower.

 

So when Tony steps out after his 38-hour lab binge to go make himself a cup of coffee, he isn't surprised to see the whole team lounging around the common room. What he is surprised to see is Peter Parker standing in the middle of the room, looking like a fish out of the water. An excited fish out of water?

 

“What the hell is going on?”

 

“Oh, Stark, see we met your _intern_ here.” Clint snarks and jumps out from the couch. “Thought we’d introduced ourselves. Cute kid, he yours?”

 

“Shut the fuck up, Barton.” Tony seethes, fists curling.

 

“Oh come on-“

 

“That’s enough. Tony, we didn’t know you had any interns. We were just wondering who this kid was,” Steve says nodding at Peter.

And Peter? Oh, how he wishes he was dead right now.

 

Tony is in no mood to deal with this bullshit. He had a headache and everything is too bright, probably because he’s drunk on caffeine.

 

He doesn’t know if it’s for the worse or the better when suddenly there is a loud bang and unspeakable pain in his chest.

 

“Tony!”

 

“Oh shit, fuck!”

 

“Friday what the fuck was that?!”

 

“Boss has been shot. He is need of medical attention, medics are already in the way. I advice you put pressure on the wound.”

 

There is chaos everywhere. Clint and Natasha scramble outside to find the shooter, Bruce is on the ground besides Tony, Thor is in the sky and Peter. Peter stays frozen where he stands, his thoughts are of Ben and _that_ night.

 

He’s snaps out of his reverie when Tony lets out a whimper and blood slowly pours out his mouth.

 

Peter feels like his heart is about to cave in but he falls on his knees besides Tony and grabs his hand. _Oh, god there is blood everywhere._

 

He doesn’t know notice when the hand in his grip goes limp, he doesn’t notice when Bruce is suddenly lets out a gasp, he doesn’t notice when Tony stops breathing but he does. He hears his heart stop beating.

 

The world comes to a halt.

 

_“No heartbeat detected.”_

 

And then everything goes dark.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooh cliffhanger.


	7. let go (so i can hold you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He died. He died in my arms and I couldn’t do anything about it, May,” his voice cracks at the end, “I never want to go through that again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY YALL ldkdkdk that was a long ass break. but I’m back! and aw we’re at the end. but yeah this is the last chapter, I don’t know i might write a sequel but anyways! I’ve been writing some short fics for no reason. But i finally got the time to write this. so enjoy!

 

 

The way grief changes you is something Peter is familiar with. He has lost his parents. He was young, so he doesn’t remember much. He’s lost Ben. Ben was like a father to him. Grief hurts, it tears you apart from the inside without a blink of an eye. It’s something that stays, no matter how much time passes or whatever universe you’re in. It doesn’t get better. There is an ache in your heart that hurts every time you breathe or when something reminds you of the person you’ve lost.

 

He bolts upright in the bed, breathing hard and his heart beating so fast, it feels like it’s going to burst out his chest. He’s shaking and he’s freezing cold. His surrounding comes into focus like a camera focusing and Peter’s breath hitches. He’s back in his old room, Queens, his apartment that he shares with May. Home.

 

His phone says it’s 8 P.M. right now on a Saturday. He stumbles out of his room, in a hurry, his legs feel like jelly but he manages to get it the kitchen. And there she is. May.

 

He collides into her with a gasp and hugs are tight as he can go without injuring her.

 

His powers!

 

“Peter wha-“

 

“May! You’re alive.”

 

“Peter? what’s up with you? Did you have a nightmare?”

 

He lets out a sob.

 

***

Later on, Peter tells her everything.

 

“How long have I been gone?”

 

“Peter, you’ve been here since the morning. I left for my shift around 1 and just came back.”

 

 

“They were alive May. They looked the exact same, since we last saw them. But I couldn’t stand to even sit in the same room as them,” he explains.

 

“He died. He died in my arms and i couldn’t do anything about it, May,” his voice cracks at the end, “I never want to go through that again.”

 

“Oh, baby.” May pulls him to an embrace and Peter cries.

 

***

 

He swings to the Compound. Maybe, a bad idea if Tony finds out that he swung three hours from Queens but Peter doesn’t care. He’s still shaking and tears keep coming into his eyes. He’s really close to another breakdown.

 

He also lets a laugh while swinging.

 

The Compound comes into the view and Peter releases a shaky breath and lands besides the front entrance. He scans his security badge and doesn’t bother saying hi to Noah on the reception desk.

 

The elevator automatically starts moving when Peter steps inside and comes to a stop on the main floor.

 

He doesn’t bother saying anything to Friday, or to even acknowledge Rhodey who’s sitting in the living room besides Tony, he just collides straight into Tony’s chest and sobs. His sobs are tearing right out of his mouth and tears are streaming down his cheeks into Tony’s collarbone. He feels Tony stiffen beneath him but he relaxes and pulls Peter even closer.

 

He’s alive. It’s okay. You didn’t lose him.

 

He vaguely hears someone whispering soothing assurances into his ear. He’s done. Peter cries until he can’t anymore. Exhaustion is setting in his bones and his eyes feel heavy but Mr. Stark pulls back a little and grabs his shoulder.

 

“Hey, buddy,” Tony whispers, worriedly“Did something happen?”

Peter shakes his head and tries to bury himself in Tony’s arms again but Tony stops him and gives him a sad smile.

 

“You gotta tell me what’s happening here, Pete, you just broke down into tears.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“What did I tell you about apologizing for things that aren’t your fault?”

 

“Don’t.”

 

“Exactly. Now, we’re going to put on a movie, eat some ice cream and you’re going to tell me what’s wrong.”

 

Peter nods and tucks himself back in Tony’s neck.

 

Tony laughs warmly.

 

***

 

Tony is worried shitless.

 

It starts like this. He wakes up around 12 P.M. expecting Rhodey to be there in the evening. He busies himself inside his lab, finishing projects he started, or making Peter’s suit more safer, more protected.

 

It starts like this.

 

He’s in the living room, talking to Rhodey when the elevator chimes and the kid stumbles in. There is a greeting on his lips but he frowns when Peter collides into his chest and starts sobbing.

 

Now, Tony is worried shitless.

 

He pulls the kid closer and whispers soothing reassurances in his ear while rubbing his back. Rhodey gives a wide look and gets up to give them some privacy.

 

Slowly but surely, Peter’s sobs turn into sniffles, his tears slow down and he goes limp in Tony’s hold.

 

Tony can feel Peter drifting off to sleep but as much as he wants Peter to get rest, he shooks him awake.

 

“Hey, Pete. Come on, kid, tell me what happened.”

 

Peter stiffens slightly in his hold and turns his face up towards Tony.

 

“You died.” He breathes out.

 

Tony tilts his head, looking confused.

 

“I was. I was sent into an alternate dimension. You didn’t know me. But then you died-“ his voice breaks at the end and he buries his face into Tony necks.

 

Tony is lost. An alternate dimension?Sounds a whole lot of bullshit, but then he’s seen aliens come out of the sky and then this seemed like nothing.

 

Eventually, Peter succumbs to the exhaustion and Tony is left there to think.

 

***

 

When Peter wakes up next, he’s still in Tony’s embrace, who’s still sleeping.

 

Not wanting to get out of the warmth and disturbing Tony, Peter settles back.

 

He’s had a building down onto him, almost drowned in a lake, crashed a plane on Coney Island. But nothing hurt more than losing Tony in his arms.

 

Peter’s been through a lot. He’s been beaten down but he’s gotten back up.

 

He’s living.

 

He’s breathing.

But most of all, Tony’s here.

 

And nothing else mattered.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> annnnddd that’s all folks.  
> p.s. captain marvel was absolutely phenomenal i still don’t get the hate but i love her so much. her power ! anyways plz go watch captain marvel :) 
> 
> GOODBYE MY FRIENDS I WILL SEE YOU SOON


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